Thursday, August 2, 2012

Life with a second grader and a kindergartener...

~The girls reported back to school on Wednesday.  Off to second grade & kindergarten they went!  It was with a heavy heart that I packed lunches, sharpened pencils and tied shoes yesterday morning.  I've been preparing myself all summer for the big day, when not one but two of my girls would leave for elementary school.  While I am happy to say that both girls were all smiles and giddy with excitement to go, I felt myself crumbling inside.  Part of this stems from my need to be taking care of something/someone.  It's no secret that I wanted another baby but the mister and I could not come to an agreement so we put the kibosh on that matter and I resigned myself to the fact that two is our magical number.  So present day, my birds have flown from the nest, and while I am happy for them, I miss them too. 

~We have lost Hermie Jr. twice.  Yep.  For starters, the little guy likes to burrow down in the sand and hide.  I'd like to think this is just his quirky crabbish personality but something tells me he might be hiding from his owner...aka Hadley.  Cuz we know that she is quite loud and walks around with him squeezed between her hands and occasionally drops him.  So when I did not notice his presence in his cage, I was reassured that he's just hiding in the sand.  Really?  Okay.  A day or so passes and I notice that Hermie Jr. is still not doing much show and tell.  After digging through the sand I notice we are most definitely down to one hermit crab. 

Me:  Where is Hermie Jr.?

Hadley:  I don't know.

Me:  He's not in his cage.

Hadley:  I didn't do anything.

Me:  We have to find him.  He needs water and can't be left out of the cage.

Needless to say, we lucked out the first go around and found him under Hadley's nightstand in her room.  The second go around, Hermie Jr. was officially missing for 48 hours and I despaired of ever finding the little guy.  I just happened to be coming into the kitchen one evening and he was sitting on the rug in front of the sink chilling.  I scooped him up, gave him a bath and sent him off to bed.  After lecturing Hadley about how it's impolite to play with Hermie Jr. and then to abandon him, we have not had another incident to date.

~As I was emptying out Delaney's hamper this morning, I spied something out of the corner of my eye that was brown and had wings.  Oh fuck!  In case y'all didn't know, I do NOT like bugs but especially roaches.  For some reason, they strike terror in my heart like no other bug can.  I instantly break out into a cold sweat.  I look around me for a weapon and spy Doug's brown loafers.  I grab one and yank out the gingham liner from the hamper.  I toss it on the floor where I start beating the shit out of it, everywhere and anywhere I can strike it, I do.  I shriek a little too just to make myself feel better.  I stop because a few minutes have passed and I need to make myself open the liner and find the remains.  It takes myself a few minutes to finally muster the courage to peek inside the liner.  Lying in the middle is a twitching roach that I've managed to whack but he's not completely dead.  So I throw the liner back down and smack it a few more times.   I grab a mile of toilet paper (you gotta make sure you have enough so you can't feel it's crunchy body), and pick it up and toss him into the toilet and give him the flush.  I can't just throw the body away in the trash because there's always a chance it will come back to life and creep back into your house.

~After school this afternoon, I am emptying out backpacks and lunch bags.  As I grab Hadley's lunch bag I notice it's pretty heavy.  As I open it up, I see a complete lunch that has not been touched.  What the hell?

Me:  Hadley, why didn't you eat your lunch?

Hadley:  I forgot it in my backpack, so my teacher gave me another one.

Me:  Another lunch?

Hadley:  Yes.

Me:  What did you eat?

Hadley:  Chicken nuggets and some bread.  I didn't like the rest of it.

Me:  (Sigh)

I'm sure the school will be sending me a bill for that.

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