So, for most who know me well, you know I have type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed later in life...at age 31. I did not even know that a person can have late on-set of type 1 diabetes; I thought type 1 was something children got. It is something completely life-changing, but I've not been bitter about it. Most people argue that it's something that would shatter them and make it hard to wake up with everyday. For me, it had the opposite affect. I was grateful that it was diabetes, something I could control, and not something like cancer, which is obviously out of my control. I'll admit, it was very challenging in the beginning. I had to learn how to take insulin, what types of foods I could continue eating, what types of foot I could not continue eating, what types of food to be cautious of, how to prick my finger sometimes 4-5 times daily. Let's just say it was a huge learning experience and continues to be one currently. While I think I do well to manage it for the most part, I still have bad moments with it. I have moments where maybe I gave myself just a bit too much insulin. I have moments where maybe I did not give myself enough insulin. It can be a frustrating thing to deal with sometimes. I find myself annoyed because no matter what, any time I go to put ANYTHING in my mouth to eat or drink, I have to stop and consider my blood sugar. I always have to give myself insulin. It's times like that where you do feel bitterness. The average person cannot possibly know what a pain in the ass it can be. Hell, until a few years ago, I had no idea what a diabetic person undergoes each and every day. But like anything else, I take it in stride and do my best to manage my health.
Wednesday night was a scary night here. As Doug and I were watching TV together, I started feeling off. When you have diabetes and your blood sugar starts to decline, your body starts to give off clues so you can act quickly and head off a trip to the hospital. For me, I always start to feel extremely light-headed. I start to have trouble concentrating. My body breaks out in a cold sweat. I get extremely agitated and grumpy. I asked Doug to go and get my glucometer so I could check my blood sugar. The results were scary. My blood sugar was 21. For those of you who have no idea what the normal range is, it is 70-150. You can imagine what seeing the number 21 must have felt like. Doug immediately ran into the kitchen to get me something to eat and/or drink to quickly bring this number up. Afterwards I remember climbing upstairs to our bedroom and literally laying down and falling fast asleep.
At 2:30 a.m., I felt a warm hand pressed to my forehead which caused me to stir from my sleep. I opened my eyes to see Doug watching me. "Is everything okay?" "Yes, I just wanted to make sure your temperature was back to normal." According to Doug, after I fell asleep I was extremely sweaty and clammy to the touch. His words to describe the way I felt to him were "dead." Scary. As I start to look around our room I notice I'm exactly the same spot I was when I fell asleep and Doug has covered me with a quilt. The love I felt for my husband in that moment is just indescribable. I was so very thankful he was there. I was so thankful that he knew what to do. I was most thankful for the fact that I was okay.
As I rolled to the middle of our bed to snuggle up next to Doug, I felt grateful for my husband in a way I never have before. It made me reflect back on our vows and how the "in sickness and in health" line has really hit home for our us in the last two years. It feels good to know we have each other's backs and I can depend on him to take care of me. Always.