Saturday, November 13, 2010

Slugs & Scratches

I found Delaney and Hadley in the garden. With shovels. Next thing I know I'm being summoned to the back yard to look at the "snail" Delaney found. Which wasn't a snail at all but actually a slug. Ewww! I cut my eyes to Delaney and informed her of what she was holding in her hand. What I wanted to do was slap her hand down and knock the creature to the ground but I didn't. Delaney is a lover of all creatures, slimy or otherwise. After discussing the situation with her, we agreed that "Sluggie" needed a bowl with dirt and she would carry him in the bowl. And upon reentering the house, we would scrub her from head to toe to kill off any slug germs. Several hours pass and I'm getting Delaney ready for bed.

Me: How was Sluggie when you left him?

D: Sluggie wasn't doing good. He stopped moving. He was suffering. I didn't want him to suffer anymore.

Me: What happened?

D: I squished him so he could be happy and go to heaven to see God.

Me: Really? Wow (I'm pretty much stunned).

D: He'll be much happier now.

Note to self: Delaney is going to end world suffering...one slug at a time.

***
It's late afternoon and I'm on the computer checking my email. The girls are playing in Delaney's room. It's peaceful. It's calm. This makes me happy. Suddenly, I hear a bloody murder scream which I only hear when someone has injured herself. Before I can even get up and make my way down the hall, in comes one screaming kid and her big sister who is attempting to talk over the screaming.

Me: What happened?

D: Well, she scratched my back.

H: My head huuuuuuurts! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.....

D: And I scratched her on the back too! She started it! (Her lip is quivering and I can see fresh sobs about to break through at any minute).

Me: Delaney, she's holding her head. Did you hit her on the head?

H: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

D: (Pauses, clearly thinking it through). Yes. But she scratched my back and it hurt really bad.

Me: Delaney go to your room. We do not hit our sister and we certainly do NOT lie.

H: My head hurts momma!

Me: Did you scratch your sister on the back?

H: Yes.

Me: Why?

H: I wanted to.

Me: You go to your room too. We do not hit our sister.

H: No momma! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Me: Yes Hadley. Go sit in your room and I'll come get you when it's time to come out.


While both girls were sobbing in their rooms, I took advantage of the quiet downstairs and started dinner. Smirking all the while because life can be so funny sometimes. I love that Delaney finally has had enough of being a doormat and decided to fight back. I love that Hadley just got plain annoyed with her big sister and decided to retaliate. I guess this is the stage we have reached. To drive home my point, I subtracted one marble from each girl's jar.

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