Monday, September 13, 2010
One of the hardest things about being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes is what happens to your vision immediately following the "drama." The drama in my case being my two day "vacation" in ICU. I was so overloaded with information that either I don't remember or else someone failed to mention that your vision will become blurry for either a week, two weeks, a month, or even several months depending on how high your blood sugar was and how long you were walking around oblivious to what was going on inside your body (in which was my case). The first day my vision became blurry was the Saturday following my discharge (about 2 days later). I woke up and realized I couldn't see as well. It was like when you wake up with a film over your eyes only no amount of rubbing my eyes would clear it. It panicked me a little. All the information I was reading applied to giving yourself too much insulin which will also sometimes cause blurry vision. I just didn't know. I ended up going in to work anyway. My co-workers had tried to convince me that I didn't need to come in and that I should stay home and rest. I, being the stubborn human being that I am, scoffed at this. "I'm fine, really." In my mind, I just wanted to go somewhere and have a routine that had nothing to do with being diabetic. An escape if you will. So I went to work. Within 20 minutes of being there, I realized it was too soon. They were all right. Everyone. I didn't need to be there. By now, my vision was a little worse than when I woke up. I couldn't even read the computer screen. I was so frustrated I broke down and just cried. Yes. Right there at work I had a small meltdown which was only the beginning of all the meltdowns I would have over the course of the first few weeks. While I was thankful to be alive, diabetes felt like some mean trick. Not only was I having to alter my entire life, I also couldn't see. For someone who's had perfect vision her whole life, I felt like I was slowly going blind. It was really hard. I left work and went home. I immediately called my PCP and my diabetic counselor from the hospital. Both assured me that blurry vision is normal in the beginning and could last anywhere from a week to several months. My diabetic counselor suggested going to CVS and picking up a cheap pair of glasses to help me until my vision returned. So I did. I got several different pairs with different strengths. I've worn one pair every day for 2-1/2 weeks. Last night was the first night I was able to take them off and read stories to the girls without having any trouble seeing. What a gift! I have a new found respect and compassion for people who have lost their sight or who never had sight at all. Like many things, until you are faced with an obstacle yourself, you never really appreciate what you have until it's gone or in my case, not working very well. While my vision is still not 100%, it's pretty darn close and I could not be more appreciative or happy about it! Prayer is truly a powerful thing and if this situation has taught me nothing else, He truly does listen. And I am very grateful.