Tuesday, October 27, 2009

In my skin

The door bell rings.

It's Monday afternoon and I open the door to see our friendly UPS carrier holding my Zappos.com box. I am elated! I literally just placed my order on Saturday night and it's Monday freaking afternoon and I'm already holding my new things. I didn't even have to pay for overnight shipping or anything. FREE shipping. Sweet.

I should back up a minute. So the other day I get a phone call from my friend, and the girls' pediatrician, Dr. Long aka Mark. Even though we've been friends for 8 years I still feel like I should address him as Dr. Long. I used to work for Dr. Long before having the girls. I also worked from home for him briefly while Delaney was 2 and Hadley was a peanut in my womb. So anyway, Dr. Long calls me and wants me to do some work from home again for him. Now that the girls are older and Hadley naps when she feels it appropriate, I really have no down time during the day to even consider working from home. I can just picture myself taking calls transferred from his office all the while the girls are duking it out in the background over a book or toy or scrap of candy they found lying under the bed. Or even breathing the same air for that matter. So I try to explain that no this won't work. I hate telling Dr. Long no because he's the one boss/friend that ALWAYS thinks of me and I don't want to keep telling him no every time he calls me with an opportunity for fear that one day he'll stop asking altogether. And then....this is the moment where I change my world over for a while. "Are you still thinking of opening the office on Sundays?" A few months ago he had informed me that in addition to keeping the office open on Saturdays for half a day, he had also decided to keep the office open for a half a day on Sundays as well. He had essentially planted a seed in my brain. So I tell him that if he's interested, I would like to work for him on weekends ONLY. Of course he swoops in and takes me up on my offer. Probably afraid if he doesn't I'll change my mind before the conversation is even over and talk myself out of it. So it's decided that I'll come train for a few hours while the girls are in preschool and then in 3 short weeks, I'll make my debut back into the working world where I will receive (gasp, pause) a paycheck. Hallelujah! I'm literally so excited. I mean, who's excited to go to work? Me...that's right!

So, Saturday night I'm sitting at the computer. I've made the decision to buy a "few" things for myself in celebration of my new job and the fact that I need to spruce up the wardrobe a bit. I'm so tired of shopping only for the girls. I mean, I LOVE shopping but it would be nice if I occasionally bought something for myself. I'm sick of looking into my closet and seeing a whole lot of nothing to wear but the same old crap. OVER it. So I purchased not one but TWO whole pairs of shoes, 5 shirts and a pair of sunglasses. Hell yes.

I'm holding my sweet Zappos box at this point and take it upstairs where I secretly stash it inside my scrap booking room. Later on when the girls go to bed I can privately try everything on without Delaney giving me her commentary on my body parts.

It's now Tuesday morning and I've just returned home from dropping both girls off at preschool. God bless these 4 hours because they are truly wonderful. It's so stinking quiet I can hear our dog scratching at his non-existent fleas. So I return to the scrap booking room and take Zappos out to open.

I try on the first shirt. Very cute top. White with multi-colored embroidery around the neckline and sleeves. Fits good. Looks nice. Everything seems to be looking up. Got a job. Got cute embroidery top. Awesome.

Take out the next top. It's one of these tops that looks like the bottom half has been dyed a darker version of the top half. Very cute. I try it on. The sleeves are so flipping tight I swear my circulation feels as if it's being cut off. The rest looks good but I can't get past the sleeves. Send back.

The next top is cute. Turquoise blue with yellowish stripes. V-neck with buttons. I put it on and it fits better but again with the sleeves. They are by no means cutting off circulation but seem a bit tighter than I would like. I'm starting to feel a bit paranoid. Am I gaining weight?

The next top is a cute spandexy workout top. I put it on and no shit, it feels as though it is pushing all the air out of my lungs. It is so damn tight it's making me look like I have huge boobs. Which I don't. Not even close. It's so tight I fear that I'll rip it just to get the damn thing off my body. Now I'm sure I need to lose a few pounds.

Try on another shirt. Very cute and low and behold, it fits and is NOT even a little bit tight. Thank God because I was really about to lose it there.

I try on the last thing which is a pair of athletic shoes. And I'll be damned if the shoes aren't too narrow. Really? So now I have fat feet too? This is ridiculous! I slam the shoes back into the box and curse myself mentally for the fact that my arms and feet are getting fatter. Ugh! Oh well...I still got a job. And to be honest, it still feels like a good day! So I'm going back to work in fatter shoes and with fatter sleeves on my shirts. And there is still MUCH to be thankful for.

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